Basics · comfort food · dinner · easy · mushrooms · pasta · quick · Vegetables · vegetarian

How to Fancy Up Your Buttered Noodles

You know when you are completely out of time, but you’re hungry (I call it starving to death, but I’m dramatic)? Or maybe there is a plethora of time, but you’re plumb out of patience? This happens to me most often. It gets to be dinner time, and I’ve run out of energy to make a single fucking thing. For those nights, I beg T to figure it out, or we order out. But sometimes I find the energy to make something easy. This time it had to be really easy, or I wasn’t going to do a fucking thing. In fact, I almost bailed on this meal simply because I was emotionally drained. But I had it in my head that this was the “easy” recipe I was going to write about this week. I thought for sure I’d be able to write up this post on Tuesday night. I thought maybe if I had all the pictures ready to go after cooking it for lunch, I’d be able to write after going out for dinner. But dinner was an emotional sinkhole, and I wasn’t able to do much afterwards. So this comes to you 2 days late, because I’m a human, and I didn’t plan accordingly. That’s kind of how things go sometimes. And that’s okay. Sometimes it’s too hard to cook. But if you have a tiny bit of energy, and maybe you need a cheap meal, then try making this fancy ass buttered noodles recipe. Make it a big batch, and you can skip cooking for a couple of nights in a row. Perfect for college students, broke early 20-somethings, and 33 year old grown ass women who don’t know when to stop running into the same fucking wall with the same fucking person.

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Buy fun pasta shapes regularly, so you’re not stuck with boring-ass penne again. Or be boring – what the fuck do I care?

I would like it noted that I wrote most of this post at the library, thinking it would be quiet and peaceful. I was literally being muttered to by the men sitting on both fucking sides of me. I’m sorry, what is it about my hunched forward body and scrunched up face that was signaling to you that I needed a man’s fucking attention? And after I tell you that I’m trying to concentrate, and you say you’ll give me some space, please do not fucking mumble about how you like my goddamn sweater. I will fucking freak the fuck out.

Sigh.

Go make buttered noodles, everyone. And once it’s time to serve ’em, add a little extra pat of butter on top. We’re here to live.

Fancy Ass Buttered Noodles

1/2 pound of pasta (your choice on shape – try not to be boring)

6 tablespoons butter, separated

A large handful of mushrooms, sliced

1/2 onion, diced

1/2 red bell pepper, diced

Salt and pepper

Optional: fresh basil, shredded parmesan, red pepper flakes, wilted spinach/kale

Bring a large pot of salted water to boil. Cook pasta according to package. Set aside.

In a large skillet over medium-high heat, add in 2 tablespoons of butter. Swirl around the pan until fully coated and add in the red bell pepper. Saute for a few minutes, stirring occasionally, until slightly softened. Then add in the mushrooms and onions. Allow to cook until the mushrooms are browned, and the onions are translucent. Once veggies are fully cooked, add in lots of salt and pepper. Especially pepper! Taste as you go. Turn the burner off, but keep the pan there. Add in the pasta and rest of the butter. Fold veggies into pasta, continuing to stir until the butter melts. Scoop into bowls. If you have some fresh basil lying around (which never happens to me, but I had some left after making pesto the other day), chop it up and throw it on top. Add in that extra pat of butter when serving if you know what’s good. Then lounge on the couch (or bed) and remind yourself that you’re awesome even if other people don’t always see it.

 

comfort food · dinner · easy · healthy · pasta · Sauces · squash · vegan · Vegetables · vegetarian · veggies · Yummy

Creamy Vegan Butternut Squash Pasta

Ya’ll know how I feel about fall, right? It’s not my jam. I just don’t give a fuck about the leaves. They end up all over the streets and sidewalks, which means I step on them, and little bits inevitably get stuck in my legwarmers. I know what you’re thinking… But, Kelsey, the colorful leaves are just so pretty. Ugh. (Insert eye-roll emoji) I really couldn’t care less.

I do, however, love love love butternut squash. I discovered it only a few years ago while making simple vegan soup, as well as some bomb ass mac and cheese. This was not a food I grew up with, as the number of veggies my mom likes could probably be counted on one hand. The one time I had any type of squash was at my high school best friend’s house, and it was covered in cinnamon, and around Thanksgiving. While I liked it in the moment, I don’t love when squash is made to be very sweet (which is also why I generally don’t like sweet potatoes, because I always think they’re going to taste like regular potatoes, and then I feel like I’ve been fucking lied to). It feels like they should all be savory, so I’m completely thrown off when they’re sweet.

Last week was Thanksgiving, which, as a foodie, is my fucking jam. I love the start of the holiday season so much. Especially because it also signifies the end of autumn, so everyone can just shut up already. T thought it’d be fun to have all 4 of our cats under one roof for the holiday weekend. He suggested it several weeks ago, but claimed ignorance when I reminded him last Sunday, full on acting like I was a goddamn nutcase for suggesting such a thing. To which I responded with, “Not my problem, man. We’re doing this. It’s already decided.” He may or may not have had a few drinks when initially thinking it was a good idea, but that’s not my fault. So we did it. I lugged over my 2 cats, along with all their shit, and all the ingredients for the full spread of food I insisted on making for Thanksgiving despite the fact that it was only the 6 of us (and 4 of us were felines). I absolutely could not be talked out of making every single side dish. I even made pumpkin shaped (sort of) dinner rolls from scratch, which was enough of a project on it’s own. Since I’m terrible at reading the recipe all the way through before starting, I accidentally ended up with 30 motherfucking dinner rolls. THIRTY. Let me remind you that there were a mere two humans to feed, and we had a full menu of vegan turkey (the only thing I didn’t make myself, and by far the least delicious thing on the table), mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, and some fucking homemade apple pie in addition to those dinner rolls (for pictures of the end product, check out my instagram – @kelseyskitchen23). We also had 3 cats and one monster of a kitten to work around in all of this (Let’s be real, Bourdain had to be put away for most of the cooking, otherwise he’d have sneaked off with all the butter).

I had no real plan or order to things when I started cooking, and I was doing it all in T’s tiny ass box of a kitchen with no windows. This also meant that I had to bring over every single ingredient, since, of course, he doesn’t have and fucking standard pantry staples outside of salt and pepper. He also had 1/3 of a bag of flour, which we had to use for the dinner rolls, gravy, and pie. We used all but maybe 3 tablespoons of that bag of flour, and I am simple NOT okay with cutting it that fucking close. When it got to be time to mix the pie filling together, I realized I had forgotten the cinnamon and nutmeg at my place. This led to a full-on melt down fueled by the fact that I was starving and hadn’t had any wine yet. I mean, what kind of fucking holiday was this? I fell into T’s arms on the couch, crying and yelling about his lack of kitchen supplies, as he reassured me that it was going to be okay. He said that we didn’t have to make pie. This sent me into a full on feeling of pure rage. Of course we’re going to make the pie – I already have a dozen apples in the fridge! And the pie crust was made last night! What the fuck am I supposed to do with it if we’re not making pie today?! WHO DOESN’T HAVE CINNAMON IN THEIR HOUSE?

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We drove back to my place to get the spices. When we got back to his place, I downed a glass (or two) of wine, and immediately felt better. We got that fucking pie into the oven, and I went to work on the side dishes.

Of course, then the pie filling dripped onto the bottom of the oven, which subsequently started billowing out smoke. I turned off the oven, and T held a giant fan above his head to blow the smoke away from the smoke detector. He had to hold it there for a long time (it wasn’t light) to clear out all the smoke.

I poured myself another glass of wine.

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I think even Bourdain was okay with the lack of butter.

This recipe is creamy and decadent without an ounce of cream or butter. I know – it blew my mind, too. When it’s the star of the recipe, I don’t often know how to handle a squash’s sweetness. This recipe goes full-on savory with onions and garlic. It really would have been at home on the Thanskgiving table last week, but I was too proud to cook something “simple.” Don’t be like me. Make this your next holiday tradition.

Anyone else have a frustrating (or fun) Thanksgiving cooking story? Leave a note in the comments.

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Creamy Vegan Butternut Squash Pasta (originally found here)

1 medium butternut squash, cut into 1/2″ cubes (about 3 cups)*

Olive oil

A handful of chopped fresh sage

1 medium yellow onion, diced

2 garlic cloves, minced

1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes

2 cups veggie broth

12oz linguine (or long pasta of your choice)

Salt and pepper (always)

Place a large pot of salted water over high heat in preparation for the pasta. In a separate large pot, drizzle some olive oil and place over medium-high heat. Sprinkle in the sage and let it fry to a crisp, stirring a couple of times. Once it’s crispy, transfer to a paper towel and sprinkle with salt. Set aside. Using the same pot, drizzle a touch more olive oil, and throw in the squash and onion. Let it cook for 5-7 minutes, stirring occasionally. Toss in the garlic and let it cook for another few minutes. Add the broth and bring to a simmer. Let simmer for about 15-20 minutes, or until it has reduced by about half. The squash should be soft at this point.

While the squash mixture is cooking, boil the pasta until al dente (following instructions on package, or be fancy as fuck with some fresh pasta). Reserve 1 cup of the pasta liquid (don’t forget like I did!).

Take the squash mixture, and blend it in a blender or food processor until smooth. Add salt and pepper to taste (be generous!). You may have to do this in batches. In a large skillet, place pasta + sauce over medium heat. Drizzle in some of the pasta water and toss until the pasta is evenly coated with sauce. Keep adding pasta water to thin it out. Mine still ended up being super thick, but that’s okay. Try not to judge yourself.

*Pro tip: Roast those squash seeds with some olive oil, salt and pepper. Then throw those little fuckers on top of the pasta for some added crunch! (Follow my recipe for pumpkin seeds)

 

 

dinner · easy · healthy · lunch · mushrooms · pasta · quick · vegan · vegetarian · veggies · Yummy

Vegan “Cheesy” Pasta and “Hot” Yoga

Y’all. I did a hot yoga class today, which ended with me panting, sweaty, and shamelessly in child’s pose. Fuuuuuck. Adding heat makes a huge difference. I spoke to the teacher after class and mentioned that I’d never done hot yoga before. He made it a point to emphasize the fact that this was not, in fact, “hot” yoga, as real hot yoga is done at 105 degrees. This was a mere 98 degrees. NBD.

Fuck.

The flow wasn’t even that hard! This has kicked my ass on a whole new level.

Also, can we discuss the mirrors for a second? My studio doesn’t have mirrors, and I prefer it that way. Why do I need to stare at my sweaty ass for an hour? It just makes me feel worse about myself. I mean, I’m sure the mirrors are technically to help with the students’ alignment, but who are we kidding? Some people are just never going to understand alignment, and don’t give a fuck. And if they really want to learn, isn’t it more about how it feels in their body? They should be able to find the alignment without looking into a mirror.

I really hate mirrors when I’m sweaty and in workout clothes. Especially in Warrior II. Fuck. My ass is out of control in that pose, and my belly sticks out. I know, I know… body positivity. And I’m 100% fine with it when I don’t have to look at myself struggling and covered in sweat. It’s the looking at myself in these poses that starts to make me self conscious. Logically, I know these things don’t matter, and I am worthy of love and acceptance. I know that. But fuck. Baby steps.

I made this pasta the other day with simple ingredients that I already had on hand. I know nutritional yeast isn’t something most people just have lying around, but I had it because I’d been meaning to try it. It had been sitting in my fridge for a few weeks when I finally made this pasta. It is definitely not the same as cheese. But it’s still really good! Give it a shot, and just add cheese if you must.

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Vegan “Cheesy” Pasta

1/2 onion, chopped

1/2 red bell pepper, chopped

1 handful mushrooms, chopped

1/2 pint grape tomatoes, sliced in half

10oz pasta (choose your own shape!)

1 1/2 cups veggie broth

1 1/2 cups non-dairy milk (I used cashew)

A large handful of baby spinach or chopped Swiss chard

1/4 cup nutritional yeast (found in the bulk aisle at any co-op or Whole Foods)

Garlic powder

Salt and pepper

Olive oil

Drizzle some olive oil into a large pot and toss in the onions, peppers, and mushrooms. Sprinkle with salt, pepper, and a little garlic powder (go easy!). Saute for several minutes, until the onions brown slightly. Add the tomatoes and cook for another 2-3 minutes. Pour in the broth and milk. Stir in pasta and bring to a simmer. Allow to simmer for about 10 minutes, or until pasta is al dente. The liquid will absorb and thicken. While still hot, add in the spinach and mix until fully wilted. Finally, sprinkle in the nutritional yeast and mix well. Top with basil if you’re feeling fancy (I didn’t have any on hand).

Love yourself no matter what you look like in silly yoga poses.

comfort food · dinner · easy · healthy · lunch · pasta · quick · soup · Vegetables · vegetarian · veggies · Yummy

Spinach Tortellini Soup and New Year’s Resolutions

I fucking hate New Year’s Resolutions, but I always secretly make one anyway. I mean, not that that is exclusive to January 1st, though. I always think that starting tomorrow/next week/next month I’m going to start being healthier/more active/more organized/thinner/smarter/more well read/somehow better than I am. It doesn’t matter how much I advocate for loving yourself just as you are, society has still been telling me my entire life that I’m not good enough. I certainly don’t need the reminder every fucking January that I’m still not good enough. Fuck you, January. You don’t know me.

Self love is a constant struggle.

So, in an effort to exercise more (because I want to, not because some shitty-ass Instagram post told me to), I have been taking more aerial fitness classes (and by “more,” I mean two so far). Aerial seems like something I’d be good at… it seems like something that would come naturally to me. I have a strong yoga practice and have been doing AcroYoga for the last year and a half. I’m familiar with being upside down, and I’m pretty bendy. But I’m also heavy. And I haven’t really worked on my upper body strength a whole lot, so…

Fuck. I’m so bad at it. I took a class the other day that was taught by a teacher trainee. Walking into the ice cold studio, I was greeted by a woman in Lululemon workout gear, curled hair, and a full face of make-up. She smiled and bounced over to me, which caused nothing on her body to move at all because she was clearly 0% body fat. There’s nothing wrong with looking like a marble statue! Nothing at all! That’s just not what I look like, and I can only handle so many discouragements when entering a new fitness class. We started with some “warm-ups.” I feel like she kept emphasizing the fact that we were just “warming up”, which made my panting, sweaty ass feel like shit. She referenced our abs several times, and I was like, “What? Where?” as I glanced down at the soft rolls of my belly as I did standing planks while desperately clinging to the aerial silk. I sloppily attempted to pull my entire body weight forward, while maintaining the reverse plank in mid-air, and I kept thinking, “Dear, God, please don’t let me fall backwards before we’ve even gotten into the silks. I can’t handle that kind of humiliation today. I’m far too delicate.”

Once we got “warmed-up,” we got into some of the aerials (poses/moves with our entire bodies in the silks – often involving being upside down). Fuck yes. This is the shit I’m here for. Bring on the inversions! The first one involves hanging upside down with the silk supporting me at my waist. Okay. Great. Got it! Then she had us “crochet” our legs in the silks for added support, so that we could then reach for the silk above our feet, and pull ourselves all the way up into a seated position. You’re following this, right? Because I’m not. Literally everyone else in class just pulled themselves up like it was fucking nothing. But me? I’m over here using all my ab strength just to reach for the fabric. I literally can’t do a pull-up. Not even one. Never could. It’s just not in the cards for me. So pulling myself up from an inversion feels insurmountable. I’m just dangling there, trying first with my right hand, then my left, which is starting to make the silk sway back and forth. I grab on with both hands (finally), and pull with everything in me. Nothing happens.

Let me try that again.

No luck. At this point, I am swaying back and forth while grunting. Everyone else is resting comfortably in their makeshift chairs as the instructor has them practice doing pretty poses in the air. Fuck you guys.

I gave up and just hung upside down like that’s where I wanted to be.

Later in class there was the “vampire pose,” which consisted of pulling up so much that your entire upper body goes all the way through (with the silk wrapped around your waist) and you land in the silk, but parallel to the floor (like if you were pretending to be Superman). The instructor did it very quickly, and it honestly just looked like a great way to break my face. Fuuuuuuuck that shit. I’m out.

During Christmas week I made this soup to make sure I had something other than cookies to eat. It’s so simple and lovely, and makes the apartment smell like cozy winter evenings. Try it – you’ll love it.

 

Spinach Tortellini Soup

1 medium onion, diced

2 carrots, peels and sliced

2 stalks celery, diced

“5 ounces” baby spinach (just grab some big handfuls)

8 ounces (about) frozen tortellini (No, I did not make that shit from scratch. I’m not Martha Stewart, and I’m okay with that.)

8 cups veggie broth  (Make your own! It’s easy! Just boil shit!)*

Olive oil

Salt and pepper

A few sprinkles of dried parsley

Optional: Shredded parmesan to serve

Heat a drizzle of olive oil in a large soup pot (it’s easiest if this is all done in the same pot – duh). Throw in the onion, carrots, and celery. Saute until cooked through (a few minutes), stirring occasionally. Add a little salt and pepper. It’ll be more flavorful if you let the veggies brown a little bit. Stir in the veggie broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and allow to simmer for a few minutes. Add in the frozen tortellini and simmer until they’re warmed through (I mean, just pay attention). Once everything is ready, then finally add in the spinach. It only takes a minute or two for it to fully wilt into hot soup. Sprinkle with parsley and salt and pepper to taste. Serve with some shredded parm (I’m usually a big cheese advocate, but this isn’t super necessary if your tortellini already has cheese in it… which it should, or you’re doing it wrong).

Eat up! You’ll need your energy for humiliating yourself at your next fitness class.

*Not literally.

comfort food · dinner · easy · lunch · pasta · quick · vegetarian · Yummy

Election Night Anxiety Cooking

I ordered one of those Hello Fresh meal/recipe deliveries because my friend got me a coupon for a free week trial. I was just in it for the free food, but it was actually pretty cool. And it was nice to have something fairly easy/fool-proof to cook on election night, when my anxiety was peaking, and I was unable to concentrate.

The service sends out these 3 neat little boxes with all the ingredients I need for a recipe (also provided) tucked inside. Everything is measured out for me, and the recipe lists every step with a photo. Idiot-proof. What should have also been included, since it was election week (and they fucking knew it), was a bottle (gallon) of fucking wine. I had to provide that for myself. What a bunch of bullshit.

I recognize this is a food blog, so I should keep things light.

I’ve never been good at following rules.

While I realize that things are not quite as dire as they seem, I am deeply disturbed by the election results (as many of us are). I have seen people feel frustrated or angry or disappointed after elections before… that’s normal. What I’ve never seen before is the overwhelming fear, and the sense of mourning. I’ve never been afraid before, and I’ve never seen people so scared of their new leader. I know this happens, but I’ve never lived it. And I recognize how ignorant that is. I’m realizing that I still have a lot to learn, especially considering that I live in an isolated liberal bubble called the Twin Cities. This was a wake-up call for sure. I never thought Trump stood a chance in hell… that the whole thing was a cruel joke. My blissful ignorance lead to a very rude awakening last night, and now I’m left raw and terrified.

When it comes down to it, I know Trump cannot just walk into the White House and make sweeping changes overnight. It doesn’t work like that. And that’s not the thing that scares me the most (though I do worry). He is hateful toward many groups of people, all of whom have very real emotions surrounding this election, and all of whom I am genuinely scared for. But I can only speak for myself, and my personal fears in regards to Trump. The one thing I just can’t seem to wrap my head around, of all the things we know about him (all of the horrible, disgusting things), is the fact that he is accused of sexual assault.

We have elected a rapist as President of the United States.

Are Americans really so uncomfortable with the idea of a woman in office that we have elected a man that is not only accused of sexual assault, but who openly brags about it? What does that say about us?

A challenge to Trump supporters:

I am a sexual assault survivor (and I’m sick of the stigma that goes with that, so I’m posting in on a fucking blog). I challenge you to listen to my story, look me in the eye, and tell me again why you think Trump will be a good president.

And, no, I don’t want you to imagine it happening to your mom, sister, daughter, wife, etc. Our identities as women are not dependent upon those relationships (and not all sexual assault survivors are women). We are humans. We exist, therefore we matter. I am a sexual assault survivor, and I am one of millions. And we all matter. You just elected our abuser as president.

Tell me again how sexual assault accusations ruin a man’s career.

The one silver lining to this shitshow of an election is the fact that people are riled up. We want change, and we won’t go down without a fight. I urge those of you feeling lost and scared to reach out to your friends, family, and community. Rise up. We will not be silent. Band together and work toward change. Find a cause that speaks to you, and support it in any way possible – volunteer, donate, make phone calls, sign petitions, write letters/emails to state representatives. Make your voice heard. All is not lost. We have each other.

And we’re going to be okay.

If anyone gives a shit about this recipe from Hello Fresh, here you go…

Oh, and the photos look like shit because I just don’t care this week.

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2 cloves garlic

4 oz kale (or just a bunch), washed and de-stemmed

1 cup milk

1 packet veggie stock concentrate (I suspect a veggie bouillon cube/teaspoon would work too)

2 oz Pesto

9 oz fresh cheese tortellini

1/4 cup breadcrumbs

1/4 cup shredded parmesan

Olive oil

Salt and pepper

All the wine in the house (not for the recipe, but to drown one’s sorrows)

Preheat oven to broil. Take a drink of wine. Thinly slice kale (or chop manically into little pieces), and mince garlic. Take a drink of wine. Grab an oven proof pan (or a regular one, but then transfer tortellini to a baking dish when it’s time to broil) and heat a drizzle of olive oil over medium heat. Add the garlic and let cook for about a minute before adding the kale, along with a splash of water. Drink more wine. Season with salt and pepper and stir for 3-4 minutes, until softened. Add the milk, veggie stock, a splash of water, and pesto. Stir well to combine, and add the tortellini. Cook, stirring often, until sauce thickens. While this is cooking take a drink of wine, and mix the breadcrumbs and parmesan in a small bowl along with salt and pepper, and a drizzle of olive oil. Once the pasta is cooked, sprinkle with the breadcrumbs mixture and broil until browned on top.

Maybe eat it. Maybe just drink more wine and pass out. I won’t judge you.

**If anyone is feeling depressed/anxious/suicidal or like they might self harm, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1‑800‑273‑TALK (8255). They are available for anyone in emotional distress. Never hesitate to ask for help. I know this is a scary time, but we will get through it.

comfort food · dinner · easy · lunch · mushrooms · pasta · Sauces · vegetarian

Mushroom Stroganoff

It’s almost my birthday. I’m going to be 31. Sigh. But it’s fine, because everyone tells me I look 25. Those same people also routinely tell me I look 30 pounds lighter than I actually am. I’m starting to think maybe these people are liars.

I love them so much.

So I have the burden of trying to figure out what I want to do to celebrate, and cannot get my shit together. I can choose the obvious bar night… but do I really want to be hungover the next day? It kills a whole fucking day, and I’m going to want to make it to a yoga class. Hungover yoga is not fun. Trust me. You just end up in Child’s Pose the whole time, while somehow still sweating out the booze. Not cute. Also, you end up getting severely judged by your yoga teacher, though he’ll swear he’s an open-minded person.

If we go out to a bar, I cannot get crazy. CANNOT. Everyone else can be crazy… but I’m just not in the mood to be out of control. And I fucking hate being hungover! The worst.

My other choices are dinner, drive-in movie (which, let’s face it, will still involve booze), host a party (too much work), a pool party (too far away, and requires my mom to be involved), or ignoring the day and pretending I’m not disappointed (unlikely). I’m a disaster. Sighhhhhh. Suggestions are welcome.

Anyway, food stuff! I’m a recent vegetarian, and I want no judgement for this. I’m not going to start judging everyone else for eating meat. I totally get it – pork belly is fucking delicious. You do you. And I’ll do me.

Anyway, becoming a vegetarian can be kind of difficult when you only have a handful of meat-free meals in your regular rotation. It gets boring, you know? So I’ve been trying new recipes lately. I make a lot of mushroom pasta (as you know), but was looking for a different variation. Stroganoff is one of my favorite meals in the world, so I was excited to find this recipe on Pinterest the other day. I modified it a little bit (because I forgot to get a couple ingredients), but it still turned out great.

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Mushroom Stroganoff

1-2 tablespoons butter

1 medium onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 cups button mushrooms, sliced

3-4 portobello mushrooms, gills removed and sliced

1 tablespoon flour

2 1/2 cups vegetable broth

1 tablespoon coarse ground mustard

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1 tablespoon fresh thyme (or dry… it’s fine.)

1 tablespoon fresh rosemary, minced

1/4 cup sour cream

Egg noodles – 1 pound, cooked according to package instructions

Salt and pepper

Optional: Parmesan cheese

Melt butter in a large skillet, and add onion. Cook for 3-5 minutes, or until onions are translucent. Stir often. Add mushrooms and cook for another 5 minutes or so before adding the garlic, plus some salt and pepper. Cook for 5 more minutes. Sprinkle the flour over everything, and stir well. Keep stirring while everything cooks for a few more minutes. The flour will make everything stick to the bottom of the pan – splash in a little veggie broth (about 1/4 to 1/2 cup) to help deglaze the pan. Stir in the rest of the broth, mustard, soy sauce, salt, and pepper. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 5-8 minutes. The sauce will thicken a lot – keep stirring. Add the fresh (or dry) herbs, and cook for a few more minutes. Remove from heat for 5ish minutes, then add the sour cream. Mix well, and pour over the top of cooked egg noodles. Feel free to add some shredded parmesan. Shovel into face.

comfort food · dinner · easy · healthy · lunch · mushrooms · pasta · quick · vegetarian

Pesto Pasta

 

I’ve been a little MIA lately.

I haven’t been blogging much for several reasons…

  1. It’s been hot as fuck outside, and the last thing I want to do is turn on the oven/stove/toaster. I just want to eat ice cream in my underwear. Don’t judge me.
  2. Yoga Teacher Training started! My weekends are so jam packed full of yoga, it’s ridiculous (and awesome). It doesn’t leave much time for anything else.
  3. It’s summer, so the free time I do have, I want to spend outside.
  4. My yoga schedule even outside of training is seriously ridiculous. I’m turning into a full on junkie.

In other news… I bought a fucking bikini! Don’t worry about me… I’m just over here taking body positivity to a whole new level. NBD.

Did you know that you can wear a bikini and still eat pasta? It’s true. Society would like to convince you otherwise, but I’m here to tell you… you can do whatever the fuck you want to do. Everyone else can fuck right off. So I’m going to go ahead and wear my size 16 bikini. I might even wear it (gasp) in front of other people. That’s right – no more swim dresses for me!

All this empowerment might wear off when I’m actually in a public space… but let’s pretend I’m really badass enough to handle it.

Anyway, I made this pasta the other day after I splurged on store bought basil and made a shit-ton of pesto. The budget situation isn’t going well. I can’t excel everywhere. Honestly, I’m only human.

In my defense, I was going to go to the store again to get ingredients for a blog post, when I decided that I had enough shit at home to throw something together. Adulting like a pro! This pasta came together in about 20 minutes, and is really easy to make. The sauce could have been improved with a little heavy cream, so go ahead and add that if you have some on hand. If not, it’s still awesome. I also think sauces like this go better with longer noodles like spaghetti or linguine, but that’s not what I had in my cupboard, so I made due.

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Pesto Pasta

8oz pasta of your choice

1 cup mushrooms, chopped

1/2 onion, chopped

1/4 cup pesto (I froze mine in ice trays, and used 2 cubes)

1-2 large handfuls spinach

Olive oil

Salt and pepper

Shredded Parmesan

Boil pasta until al dente. In a large skillet, brown mushrooms in olive oil (or butter) over medium-high heat. While the pros will tell you to “not crowd the mushrooms,” I really think there is very little change in flavor. I spent the time browning mushrooms for this, and not only was it a huge pain in the ass, but I really didn’t notice a difference. For those that don’t know what this means, basically you just make sure the mushrooms have enough space that they aren’t overlapping in the pan, otherwise they will just steam instead of brown. Do what you want with this information. If you’re browning them, set them aside to cook the onions in the same pan (if you’re not browning them, just throw the onions and mushrooms into the pan together). Once the onions are translucent and slightly brown, add the mushrooms back into the pan, along with the spinach and pesto. Lower the heat to medium-low, and add salt and pepper to taste. Once everything is fully incorporated, dump in the strained pasta and stir well. Add more salt and pepper, if needed. Serve topped with shredded parmesan cheese.

Maybe throw on your favorite bikini while eating this… in front of other people.

#nomorebodyshaming