A few years back I developed anxiety. It raged day and night for weeks, then would disappear, only to reappear again a few weeks later. It was originally triggered by some health stuff that scared me, but then it continued without cause, even once that was resolved.
**Anxiety is a real dick. Am I right?
I have the tools to manage it now, and it mostly doesn’t come around anymore (unless I drink too much caffeine). Today, however, it hit again. I started panicking about stupid shit that doesn’t really matter to me usually. Like… how everyone around me seems to be moving forward, and I feel stuck. I don’t care about obtaining careers, houses, families, etc, but that seems to be everyone else’s goal. They just seems so put together, and I’m over here eating ice cream directly from the container, in my underwear. Naturally.
Adulting is especially difficult when you reject everyone else’s idea of what being an adult looks like.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Or am I just a disaster?
On a lighter note, I made Irish Soda Bread on a whim last Thursday. My friend and coworker was sad to not have any for St. Patrick’s Day. So I did what any decent baker would do… I whipped some together for her that night, before yoga.
Then I went to yoga and fucking nailed my crow pose. Obviously.
Irish Soda Bread
4 cups flour
4 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup butter, melted
1 1/4 cup buttermilk
Handful of raisins
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Mix together flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the 1/2 cup softened butter, 1 cup of the buttermilk, and the egg. Pour wet ingredients into the dry ingredients, and mix well. Fold in the raisins. Place dough on a floured surface and knead for 30 seconds or so. Shape the dough into a rounded loaf, and place on a greased baking sheet. Whisk together the remaining 1/4 cup buttermilk and 1/4 cup melted butter. Brush loaf with buttermilk mixture. Cut an X in the top of the loaf, and bake for 45 minutes. Brush the loaf with the buttermilk mixture every 15 minutes, until it has finished baking. Let cool slightly.
Cut off huge slices and slather with half a stick of butter each. Try not to eat the whole loaf in one sitting (Or do it – who am I to judge?).
**If anyone else struggles with anxiety, I highly recommend yoga. Or, at the very least, just doing legs up the wall pose at home. Google it. You literally just lay on the floor, with your legs going straight up the wall. I don’t know why it works, but it’s literally an off switch for my anxiety.