Salted Chocolate Chip Cookies

So my mom finally wrote down her chocolate chip cookie recipe. If you remember, she’s not great at measurements. She doesn’t understand that baking is science. In fact, she scoffed when I told her.

In her defense, the cookies always turn out perfect. I figured her baking skills are genetic, so my version of these would also be perfect.

But then Hannah fucked it all up.

The brown sugar I had was rock hard. I’m not allowed to go to the store, and I knew there was a way to soften it… but I couldn’t remember how. Hannah was sitting in the background drinking White Russians. She hears me complaining, and says very matter-of-factly, “Just microwave it with a little water. It’ll be fine.” Rather than take the 2 minutes to Google a real method of softening brown sugar, I take her advice. The sugar at the bottom of the bowl melts into brown goo, and the sugar on top stays rock hard. Sigh. When I yelled at Hannah, she responded with, “Kelsey, I’ve never baked anything in my life. Why would you listen to me?!”

She just sounded so confident. She’s an excellent bullshitter.

In the end, the cookies turned out acceptable. Next time I bake, Hannah is not invited.

Salted Chocolate Chip Cookies

3/4 cup white sugar

3/4 cup brown sugar, packed

2 sticks of butter, softened (My mom says to melt them all the way, but I know that’s bullshit)

Splash of vanilla

2 eggs

2 3/4 cup flour

Dash of salt

Teaspoon baking soda

2 cups dark chocolate chips

Coarsely ground sea salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cream together both sugars, butter, and vanilla. Add the eggs, one at a time, and beat until fluffy. In a separate bowl (or if you’re my mother, the same bowl) mix the flour, salt, and baking soda together. Pour flour mixture into wet ingredients and mix well. Remove from mixer, and fold in chocolate chips. Form into 1 or 2 inch balls, and place on a cookie sheet. Add a few pieces of salt to the top of each ball of dough, and press in slightly (so they don’t fall off).  Bake for approximately 10 minutes. Makes about 3 1/2 dozen cookies. Make sure to eat at least 10 while they’re still warm and gooey.