Egg and Avocado Toast

Another recipe everyone else has done.

But, fuck it, this is my version. And it’s obviously superior to all other versions. 

I’m trying to eat healthier, because I’ve been a disaster for the last few weeks/months. This happens to me frequently… the search for balance. It’s an endless battle.

The decision came yesterday, when I finally got my mermaid leggings in the mail. I pulled them up as much as possible, and they still wouldn’t cover a good four inches of my ass. Seriously, this ass. It’s both a blessing and a curse. But, honestly, if I can’t get your largest sized leggings over my ass, you have no business marketing them as “plus-size.” I wear the smallest fucking size they make in plus-size everywhere else. WTF? 

So, while I know there is nothing wrong with my body as it is, I would like to lose a few pounds. No, this does not mean I’m going to stop loving my body in the process. I hate that shit. You don’t have to hate yourself just because you want to change a little. Words to live by.

Avocado toast is one of my favorite healthy meals. It’s so quick and easy. I routinely make this for breakfast, even on work days. It feels fancy, and less like a Monday if I get to eat this in the morning. I will also occasionally make it for a light dinner, usually when I’ve eaten too many chips and salsa as an after work snack. I clearly still think I’m a teenager. 

You’ll notice that I used some healthy fats in this recipe – a whole egg (gasp – I’m not removing the yolk!?), and avocado. The egg yolk literally has all the fucking vitamins in it. If you’re throwing them away, you’re being a dumbass. And haven’t we gone over the avocado thing before? It’s the good fat, remember? You should be eating avocado EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Egg and Avocado Toast

1 egg

1 slice of good bread (I used sourdough, but whole grain would have been better for me)

1/4 avocado

Yellow mustard

1/4 onion, diced

3-5 white mushrooms, diced

Handful of Swiss chard/spinach/kale/whatever leafy green

Salt and Pepper

Something to grease the pan (butter/oil/spray/whatever)

Saute onions and mushrooms over medium heat, in a lightly greased skillet. Add salt and pepper. Toast bread while cooking onion/mushroom mixture. Once cooked, start frying an egg in another skillet. I like mine over easy. Do what you want. As the egg is cooking, throw in your leafy greens with the onions and mushrooms. Cook until wilted, stirring frequently. Your toast should be ready by now. Spread the avocado onto the toast, then spread a thin layer of mustard over the avocado. Spoon veggie mixture onto toast, and top with the egg. Add a little extra salt and pepper. Bask in the beauty of it. Then stab the yolk all the way through the bottom, so that it mixes into the veggies. Stick the whole thing in your face.