baking · comfort food · Cookies · dessert · jam · peanut butter · Sandwiches · snacks · Yummy

PB & J (Cookie) Sammies

I had a to-do list today. It consisted of the following items:

  • Acupuncture for my tennis elbow (ouch)
  • Hang out with Carrie
  • Grab a delicious pastry
  • Buy a frame at Michael’s
  • Get liability insurance for the winter farmer’s market
  • Apply for winter farmer’s market
  • Write a blog post

The first 4 were done easily. I even went so far as to nap during my acupuncture appointment, so I feel as though I was being extra efficient. Then I went online to purchase liability insurance. I wanted to get signed up for my market of choice as soon as fucking possible, as I’m constantly worried that the spots are filling up (they are). I also need to sign up ASAFP because I really want a Sunday spot. If I don’t get a Sunday spot, I’m going to have to arrange things at work to make Saturdays work, and that’s a whole fucking thing. I am not alone in my desire for a Sunday spot, so I need to get my shit together now.  As I’m filling out the forms, it asks for my business name. Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

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I’m currently registered under Kelsey’s Cakes, the rated G named I chose after the church-run farmer’s market wouldn’t let me use Eat Me Bakery (but it was totally cool for a whiskey bar to sponsor the market, of course). This means that I have to most likely re-register. This isn’t a problem, but it adds time, which I don’t have. So now I’m left sitting and waiting to hear back from someone that might be able to help me out at the Minnesota Department of Agriculture. Bureaucracy.

Those items will not be crossed off my to-do list today. Sigh.

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Hannah had a baby. That baby is Mira, and she is over a year old already. Here she is devouring a PB & J Sammie with reckless abandon. I wish this photo had sound, as she was making adorable little suckling noises… no doubt to make sure she got every last drop of jam. A girl after my own heart.

Anyway, I had my very last market day last Saturday. I mean, not my very last EVER, but my very last for this season. I ended up making these delightful little sandwich cookies on a whim the night before. I knew I wanted to do something with peanut butter and jelly, as they are my favorite flavor combo. No one really uses these flavors much, likely because so many kids are allergic to peanuts now. Outside of that concern, I’m not sure why this classic duo is so often overlooked. I mean, even I only have one recipe that contains these flavors. What am I even doing with my life? Oh fuck, I guess I also made a mug cake recently, didn’t I? Shit. I totally forgot. I guess I’m finally getting my shit together. Get ready for all things peanut butter and jelly! Pro tip: Add PB & J to your vanilla ice cream. You’re welcome.

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PB & J (Cookie) Sammies (original recipe found here)

For the cookies:

1/2 cup butter, softened

1/2 cup peanut butter (I used creamy Jif)

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup  dark brown sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup instant oats

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

For the filling:

1/3 cup peanut butter

1/3 cup jam of choice (I used homemade raspberry)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line your baking sheets with parchment paper or a silpat mat and set aside. Cream together butter, peanut butter, and both sugars. Add in egg and vanilla and mix well. In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking soda and powder, salt together. Slowly mix into the wet ingredients before finally hand stirring in the oats. Mix until just combined. I used a food scale to get my cookies all the same size. If you’re doing this, I recommend 11g per cookie. If not, about a tablespoon of dough per cookie. I was able to fit about 15 cookies per baking sheet. Once you have all of them lined up on the cookie sheets, use a fork to press them down in a criss-cross pattern. Bake for about 10 minutes. Once fully cooled, add the peanut butter and jam and sandwich the cookies together. To avoid a soggy cookie, make sure to do a very thin layer of peanut butter on the jam side. Shovel them all into your face, without sharing a single one.

Makes about 24 sandwich cookies.

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DO THIS.

comfort food · dinner · easy · jam · lunch · peanut butter · quick · Sandwiches · snacks · vegan · vegetarian

PB & J + Potato Chips

I went swimsuit shopping today. I walked in there with all this confidence… and was immediately put in my place. First of all, why is it so fucking difficult to get something in my size that isn’t fucking disgusting? I’m tired of hiding under skirts and extra layers to hide my thighs and hold my belly in. It’s exhausting. I just want to wear a swimsuit that is comfortable, and cute. Is that so much to fucking ask?

First, I tried a little online shopping at Aerie. They are my go to source for the best underwear, and they refuse to photoshop their models. Plus! They just signed a plus size model to model their standard size clothing. This is a big deal, guys. Anyway, I thought for sure I’d find something on their website.

I am a naive person. Or maybe just a little dumb. Maybe both. Who knows?

Those fuckers didn’t even have my size at all. Apparently, my boobs are too big to be contained by Aerie.

So I went to Target today. I buy lots of clothing at Target, and can always shop their standard size section (I’m one of those people that can shop in both plus size and standard size… usually). So I walk in, and am overwhelmed by all the options right inside the front door. There are stripes and polka dots, bikinis with cute bows and ruffles, one pieces with these cool sheer stripes, all covering 2 huge walls, plus several racks in the middle of the floor. I went digging, highly optimistic.

Sigh. I’m just so naive.

NOTHING FUCKING FIT.

You want to know how many options they had in their plus size section? There was one rack, and everything on it was a variation of the same black, skirted, one piece. God forbid someone see my upper thighs!

Swimsuit skirts can fuck off. I don’t need to hide behind you anymore!

I like to think I’m bold enough to wear a bikini, and just tell everyone to fuck right off. Clearly, the clothing industry has other ideas.

Fuck you, society. Stop body shaming me.

Also, put some fucking underwire in those swimsuits! WTF?

PB & J + Potato Chips

2 pieces of white bread

Jam of choice (I chose my fancy homemade plum jam, but you do you)

Peanut butter

Potato chips

Assemble sandwich in obvious manner. Then smoosh the sandwich a little bit to crush the chips a bit. Shove in your mouth with extra potato chips.

I think this is the best thing that’s ever happened to my mouth.

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breakfast · brunch · dessert · easy · gluten free · jam · quick · sides · snacks · vegan · vegetarian

Cranberry Jam and Alone Time

DSC_0011I have a long standing tradition of taking myself on dates. I will randomly feel the need to take a break from socializing, and honor my introvert by simply spending the day/afternoon/evening alone, doing all my favorite things. Today was that day. I went to two yoga classes – one taught by the person that originally taught me yoga, and one taught by the person that has helped me deepen my practice in the last few months. Both classes were low-energy, with lots of slow stretching and breathing. It was just what I needed. I left each class feeling calm and grounded. After yoga, I spent some much-needed quality time with my mom, then took myself out to a “movie.” I went to see the Humpback Whale documentary at the Science Museum Omnitheatre. Guys – it was so fucking cool. At first I was concerned about the tiny screen, but then a giant screen fucking moved over the top of it! It was awesome. Everyone should go there. Go right now. You won’t be sorry.

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Sometimes the need for alone time will translate into something different than what I did today. A lot of the time, my cooking becomes my alone time. Last weekend I made cranberry jam. I became obsessed with the idea after seeing cranberries at the farmers’ market the week before. Of course, when I went to pick some up, that vendor wasn’t there. So I ended up going to my local co-op and purchasing $30 worth of cranberries. It would have been $10 at the farmers’ market, but I missed that opportunity, because I’m a dumbass.  It also turns out that I don’t love cranberry jam. So with my second batch, I added frozen blueberries. It changed everything for the better. 20151120_102325

I have been putting that shit on everything. Nothing is off limits! My favorite method of consuming jam is by adding it to an English muffin that is already topped with cream cheese. OR! On top of vanilla ice cream, maybe with a handful of dark chocolate chips. You’re welcome.

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Cranberry Jam

8 cups fresh cranberries (or 4 cups blueberries and 4 cups cranberries)

3 cups brown sugar, packed

2-3 cups waterDSC_0034

Follow canning instructions here if you want to actually can the jam(which is what I did). Otherwise, feel free to cut this recipe in half and just throw it in the fridge. It will stay fresh for a few weeks. If canning, you do not need to add pectin, as it is naturally found in cranberries.

Throw everything into a pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer for around 25 minutes, stirring frequently. It will bubble quite a bit – especially if you’re only using cranberries (which thicken quickly). I had to put pants on for this, which was really fucking annoying. Hot jam splattered on your legs really hurts – don’t say I didn’t warn you.

You’re done! Can it, eat it, or bathe in it.

Side note: My family doesn’t do cranberry sauce, but if yours does, this would be a great option. Maybe just add a little cinnamon and orange zest.

20151120_101640This jam is Piper-approved.