I had several major triumphs this week. First, I tried Acro Yoga on Sunday, which was absolutely terrifying… then amazing. I don’t know what my deal is, but I always enter into new things fully expecting to be judged. I walked into that class definitely being the chubbiest one there, worried about what everyone else would think of me.
Yoga people are constantly proving me wrong, and I love them for it.
I’ve never met a more welcoming group of people. Everyone there was supportive and encouraging. I got to try several different poses as both the base and the flier. I thought I felt infinite in the partner yoga class a few weeks ago… clearly, I had no fucking idea. It’s an amazing feeling being able to trust a stranger to support you. Why isn’t everyone doing this? The therapeutic aspect alone is reason enough.
Speaking of which, it should be mentioned that this is significant for me because I have spent most of my life thinking my body was holding me back. I have always thought I wasn’t able to do certain things, simply because of my size. I know I’m not alone in this. And it starts young. I once skipped a skiing trip in 6th grade because we had to write down our weight on the permission slip. I’ve been holding myself back since the age of eleven.
Fuck that shit.
I’m allowed to try new things, and maybe even be good at them. And I’m allowed to take up space. I feel like as women, especially larger women, we are constantly apologizing for taking up space – for existing. We’re also required to hate ourselves, or at the very least, our bodies. That’s fucking bullshit. We can do whatever we fucking want, and we can love our bodies (even if they aren’t “perfect”). If someone else has a problem with it, that’s really their issue, not ours. Wow, this is getting really preachy, isn’t it? Fuck it – it needs to be said.
Unrelated: I made homemade ice cream today, and it’s fucking awesome. Also, it doesn’t require a machine, which is even more awesome.
Side note: I find it funny that I ended up writing about body positivity in a post for ice cream. Ice cream is something I used to not even allow myself to buy, for fear of eating too many calories. I was so young and dumb. Fuck calories. I’ll eat what I want.
Coffee Ice Cream
1 1/4 cups heavy cream, chilled
2/3 cup sweetened condensed milk
2 tablespoons instant coffee
2 tablespoons Kahlua (or any coffee liqueur)
1/2 cup (plus extra for sprinkling on top) chocolate chips, roughly chopped
Add cream, condensed milk, instant coffee powder, and Kahlua into a mixer. Use the whisk attachment, and mix on high until the whisk is leaving trails in the cream. Fold in chocolate chips. Pour into a loaf pan (or any freezable container), and sprinkle with a few extra chocolate chips. Then freeze for about 6 hours.
Eat a bowl without apologizing or worrying about calories. Enjoy it – you’re allowed.